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They felt a sense of injustice



“My parents clearly preferred one of my sisters”

Patrick,50 years (1)

“In my family, we were not all housed in the same boat. My parents clearly preferred one of my sisters, and the other three children knew that. We were convinced that their affection depended on our academic success. But his was the most brilliant. They were not at all interested in my sports activities, despite my good results, but accompanied my sister in hers. Later, in adulthood, she retained this privileged status. They always followed her cravings for family outings, and it seems to me that her kids also got more attention than others. Sometimes the situation annoyed me, but I wasn’t mad at her. I also couldn’t blame my parents because, like my two other sisters, I felt that I deserved this lesser interest. Not having had the same affection that it hurt me a lot. “

“I realized that I had lacked attention”

Ines,49 years (1)

“My parents raised us with the idea that equality was a myth and rather sought equivalence. But that did not prevent us from feeling injustices. I remember a situation that I experienced particularly badly: one of my brothers had fallen ill in snow school and as my parents thought that he had been poorly treated there, they decided that I would not go there. not the following year. This absence not only cut me off from class for three weeks, but it also cost me my best friend. I also found it unfair the way my father spoke about his six children in his Christmas letter to the whole family. He always valued one of my older sisters, while sometimes pointing out some of my weaknesses. On the other hand, I was the only child to go to private business school and that might have seemed so unfair to my siblings. Some differences in treatment affected me. As an adult, I did work on myself and realized that I had lacked attention. “

“We said to ourselves that the one who had more strawberries was perhaps the most loved”

Elise, 41 years

“I am the fifth of nine siblings. We were all very concerned about the feeling of justice. We counted, for example, the number of strawberries or apples and hazelnuts on our plates, while our mother advised us not to look in the neighbor’s. But we couldn’t help it because what was playing behind was deeper. We thought that the one who had the most strawberries was perhaps the most loved. In a large family, we may have less proof of love from parents and we sometimes grow up in a certain emotional insecurity. We also had a disabled brother who required more attention. We understood it but that did not hide the fact that at one point we said to ourselves: “And me !” As an adult, I moved away from my family, abroad. Despite my projects going off track, my parents followed me and I too had the right to a little exclusivity. As a teenager, I surely resented them a little but I never held it against my brothers and sisters because we were all in the same boat. “

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